Intrepid Readers,
I have recently finished typing up my first full-length novel (weighing in at somewhere over 70k words). I have to say that I'm a little disappointed. This is for several reasons. (1) I don't in fact feel the huge weight drop off my chest because (2) I have to go back and edit AGAIN. For some reason, handwriting my entire novel, reading it and then editing it while I typed did not turn out to be a magical formula for flawless writing. In fact, I have more editing than ever to do because (horror!) I enlisted the help of other people to read my novel and give me feedback. So, now I have to go through and sort out all the comments from other folks and meld them into my novel to make a more cohesive and perfect narrative, which no matter how I labor, will never be the masterpiece trapped in my head.
Apparently, I must delve into the strange world known as Networking and do research to actually sell my novel now. The books say that this is the real hard work. I'm not going to lie; I am terrified. Some agents and editors are rumored to eat men twice my size in a single bite. Good thing Writer's Digest has a list of Preditors and Editors I can look into.
On the brighter side, I now can go through and edit my fourteen year old cousin's werewolf novel. (Which weighs in at 45k words and a decade earlier than my work - quite impressive, really).
Keep on writing,
-Thomas Mercurial
13 July 2011
26 April 2011
Isaac Asimov on the Limits of Imagination
Today I started reading Isaac Asimov (shock!). I find it at once encouraging and dreadful that our imaginations at once can out predict technology by decades and also fall behind by decades. In Asimov's short story "The Dead Past," he posits a machine called a "MultiVac" which can store data and recreate it in hard copy in a few minutes. With even a smart phone and a printer several minutes would be a gross over-estimate of the requisite time to perform such a task.
Among the things which Asimov created in this short story the only thing which hasn't been invented yet is a Chronoscope - a device by which one may actually watch and listen to the past. Pretty cool, right? Wrong. As Isaac Asimov points out the past begins this instant and travels backwards. This device would allow anyone to be a Voyeur or a spy or any number of things from which we are at least moderately able to defend ourselves against. In a world with such a device privacy would be literally a thing of the past.
The only thing that Asimov didn't expect was a culture of exhibitionism and voyeurism. Such a culture has gripped the world of the internet. Anywhere you look, it's apparent. Even Facebook has "Get a Hot Date Tonight" ads in the side bars - or perhaps I should say especially Facebook? You see, the internet has developed a culture that has not realized that it exists outside of the box the says "Teh Interwebz." People frequently post on Facebook about their rampant sexual encounters or their binge drinking/drug use/vandalism. There is an entire generation that wants to be exposed - but only from the privacy of their own corner of the internet. For some reason there is a HUGE disconnect for people (us Millennials especially) between what we do on our computer and what happens in real life. We assume that because everything is password protected that no one else that can affect our lives will see it.
Perhaps the Chronoscope would be a relief for this subculture of the internet. All of a sudden, they wouldn't have to bother with facebook or twitter updates about how baller their lives are. They could just advertise that they were doing X to Y and then let people tune in on their home chronoscopes. Oh wait- they already can thanks to the magic of home webcams.
-Thomas Mercurial out.
Among the things which Asimov created in this short story the only thing which hasn't been invented yet is a Chronoscope - a device by which one may actually watch and listen to the past. Pretty cool, right? Wrong. As Isaac Asimov points out the past begins this instant and travels backwards. This device would allow anyone to be a Voyeur or a spy or any number of things from which we are at least moderately able to defend ourselves against. In a world with such a device privacy would be literally a thing of the past.
The only thing that Asimov didn't expect was a culture of exhibitionism and voyeurism. Such a culture has gripped the world of the internet. Anywhere you look, it's apparent. Even Facebook has "Get a Hot Date Tonight" ads in the side bars - or perhaps I should say especially Facebook? You see, the internet has developed a culture that has not realized that it exists outside of the box the says "Teh Interwebz." People frequently post on Facebook about their rampant sexual encounters or their binge drinking/drug use/vandalism. There is an entire generation that wants to be exposed - but only from the privacy of their own corner of the internet. For some reason there is a HUGE disconnect for people (us Millennials especially) between what we do on our computer and what happens in real life. We assume that because everything is password protected that no one else that can affect our lives will see it.
Perhaps the Chronoscope would be a relief for this subculture of the internet. All of a sudden, they wouldn't have to bother with facebook or twitter updates about how baller their lives are. They could just advertise that they were doing X to Y and then let people tune in on their home chronoscopes. Oh wait- they already can thanks to the magic of home webcams.
-Thomas Mercurial out.
22 April 2011
Well we're screwed.
Being the astounding academic that I am, I tend to read quite a bit of dreadfully serious philosophy. By cross-referencing these completely legitimate sources, I have discovered that this world is indeed ripe for a reckoning. I cannot help but assume that Dr. Gene Ray is in fact the Nostradamus of our time, and only Randall Munroe can widely broadcast such a dire message. In less than a hundred years, war will be beginning. Dr. Gene Ray, himself above god, is of course immortal and will be the one to - in the colloquial - "set us up the bomb."
I doubt very much that Nostradamus was a huge fan of self-fulfilling prophecies, but if you want to be accurate you have to do it yourself; time is simply too fickle a mistress.
I doubt very much that Nostradamus was a huge fan of self-fulfilling prophecies, but if you want to be accurate you have to do it yourself; time is simply too fickle a mistress.
13 April 2011
National Undergrad Lit Conference
Howdy folks,
I got back from NULC (National Undergraduate Literature Conference) a couple weeks ago. It was amazing to get the opportunity to hang out with so many serious writers. It was also gratifying to know that I blew all of the non-serious writers out of the water. There were a few people that went simply to be able to say they went.
No joke, one girl had a two page story about a dog, from a dog's perspective, about not having food or water for almost a week. There were a few problems with the story logistically, but the one that stood out in the minds of my group was the lacking conflict. What pray tell, makes a short story except a conflict? Without a conflict there is no story. On the bright side, Chenoa, a woman from my group, got to finish her entire story because of the extra time.
This was my first time reading any of my prose aloud. It's a fairly unsettling experience. Although, I must admit that I still find reading my own poetry aloud much more jarring. Poetry is a much more direct window into the soul than prose. It's almost impossible to write poetry outside of one's own experience, while my prose is almost entirely outside of my experience (obviously, people must be based on people, whom I've actually met).
My sister totally rocked her poetry reading. I'm ridiculously proud of how well she did. Her tone and attitude was spot on for her pieces.
I got back from NULC (National Undergraduate Literature Conference) a couple weeks ago. It was amazing to get the opportunity to hang out with so many serious writers. It was also gratifying to know that I blew all of the non-serious writers out of the water. There were a few people that went simply to be able to say they went.
No joke, one girl had a two page story about a dog, from a dog's perspective, about not having food or water for almost a week. There were a few problems with the story logistically, but the one that stood out in the minds of my group was the lacking conflict. What pray tell, makes a short story except a conflict? Without a conflict there is no story. On the bright side, Chenoa, a woman from my group, got to finish her entire story because of the extra time.
This was my first time reading any of my prose aloud. It's a fairly unsettling experience. Although, I must admit that I still find reading my own poetry aloud much more jarring. Poetry is a much more direct window into the soul than prose. It's almost impossible to write poetry outside of one's own experience, while my prose is almost entirely outside of my experience (obviously, people must be based on people, whom I've actually met).
My sister totally rocked her poetry reading. I'm ridiculously proud of how well she did. Her tone and attitude was spot on for her pieces.
25 March 2011
Roleplaying Games IRL
Hello intrepid readers,
This will be my first post using the delayed publish feature. I thought about asking you all to tell me if it didn't post, but then I realized that was about as useful as asking those absent to raise their hands and be counted.
I've played Dungeons and Dragons for the majority of my life at this point, and I've come to realize how much more grounded in reality I am now than I used to be. Some people may wonder at this since I'm now trying to eke out a living as a writer, instead of pursuing mechanical engineering.
Allow me to explain, I used to want to live as a D&D Hero. You might be thinking, "Well, Thomas, doesn't everyone want to be a hero?" or "What's wrong with that?" For those of you with these thoughts consider this:
EVERY day of a Hero's life is enforced TORTURE.
(Notice dramatic spacing) That's right, folks! Every single day of an RPG Hero's life is another day in Hell. Get a limb hacked off? Cure Light Wounds and get back in there, champ!
Rotting while still alive? Cure Disease, then keep fighting!
Did you finally die and earn eternal rest? WRONG! Raise Dead will rip you from the embrace of your god and put you back on this world where monsters and evil outnumbers decent folks 400 to 1.
I mean, if you think about it, healers are like Afterlife-Nazis, "No eternal rest for you!"
All this is not to say that one shouldn't play Role Playing Games, because of course they are massively enjoyable, but one shouldn't want to live in one of these worlds. Unless, one is hugely masochistic, because with cure light wounds the pain can go on forever.
This will be my first post using the delayed publish feature. I thought about asking you all to tell me if it didn't post, but then I realized that was about as useful as asking those absent to raise their hands and be counted.
I've played Dungeons and Dragons for the majority of my life at this point, and I've come to realize how much more grounded in reality I am now than I used to be. Some people may wonder at this since I'm now trying to eke out a living as a writer, instead of pursuing mechanical engineering.
Allow me to explain, I used to want to live as a D&D Hero. You might be thinking, "Well, Thomas, doesn't everyone want to be a hero?" or "What's wrong with that?" For those of you with these thoughts consider this:
EVERY day of a Hero's life is enforced TORTURE.
(Notice dramatic spacing) That's right, folks! Every single day of an RPG Hero's life is another day in Hell. Get a limb hacked off? Cure Light Wounds and get back in there, champ!
Rotting while still alive? Cure Disease, then keep fighting!
Did you finally die and earn eternal rest? WRONG! Raise Dead will rip you from the embrace of your god and put you back on this world where monsters and evil outnumbers decent folks 400 to 1.
I mean, if you think about it, healers are like Afterlife-Nazis, "No eternal rest for you!"
All this is not to say that one shouldn't play Role Playing Games, because of course they are massively enjoyable, but one shouldn't want to live in one of these worlds. Unless, one is hugely masochistic, because with cure light wounds the pain can go on forever.
18 March 2011
Lessons to learn from the Upcoming Movie "Hop"
If you all haven't seen the trailer yet for the movie Hop, you can watch it here. From this trailer we learn from whence jelly beans really come: Easter bunny poop. There are three lessons we can learn from this about jelly bean companies.
Lesson 1: Off-brand jelly bean companies either a) hire people to walk around collecting easter bunny poop or b) (more likely) kidnapped a few of - no doubt - large number of easter bunny progeny and force feed their ill-gotten rabbits until they poop enough jelly beans to fill dime store plastic eggs for pennies on the dollar compared to name brand companies.
Lesson 2: Jelly Belly is a questionable company that either uses animal husbandry to force mutations into the Easter Bunny genes, OR Jelly Belly subjects their easter bunny babies to injections of different chemicals to make the poop taste like mocha.
Lesson 3: This you should already know. Bot's Every Flavor Bean Co. is the devil. How else can you explain mixing regular rabbit poop with easter bunny poop? I mean come on.
Lesson 1: Off-brand jelly bean companies either a) hire people to walk around collecting easter bunny poop or b) (more likely) kidnapped a few of - no doubt - large number of easter bunny progeny and force feed their ill-gotten rabbits until they poop enough jelly beans to fill dime store plastic eggs for pennies on the dollar compared to name brand companies.
Lesson 2: Jelly Belly is a questionable company that either uses animal husbandry to force mutations into the Easter Bunny genes, OR Jelly Belly subjects their easter bunny babies to injections of different chemicals to make the poop taste like mocha.
Lesson 3: This you should already know. Bot's Every Flavor Bean Co. is the devil. How else can you explain mixing regular rabbit poop with easter bunny poop? I mean come on.
03 March 2011
Drink in, writing out
Occasionally, a writer must take a break from rewriting in order to maintain sanity. I find myself in such a predicament now. I've been editing and rewriting my first novel "Wizard Storm" for several months now, and frankly, rewriting, while rewarding, tends to numb the mind after a while. The characters keep talking and telling one how awfully they have been misportrayed. I'm actually caught in such a predicament with the main character Theldun, whose fall and tentative redemption makes up the main driving force for the story. The problem is, he doesn't fall far enough when he gets redeemed. Of course, I intend to remedy this later by a second, deeper fall from grace, but Theldun insists that he is incredibly bitter and venomous. Theldun's venom isn't shown well enough. So I now face the question, if I show this young wizard's venom more fully, will that cheapen his redemption?
Honestly, the answer is yes. He hasn't been shown enough of the redemptive force to actually choose life over death. To try and address this issue, I took a rather... drastic course of action.
I blinded him.
Theldun, of course, wasn't thrilled with the outcome, but the action scenes are much more interesting with a mostly-blind character's life on the line. Perhaps with Theldun's healing, his eyes will be opened to his inner brokenness?
Honestly, the answer is yes. He hasn't been shown enough of the redemptive force to actually choose life over death. To try and address this issue, I took a rather... drastic course of action.
I blinded him.
Theldun, of course, wasn't thrilled with the outcome, but the action scenes are much more interesting with a mostly-blind character's life on the line. Perhaps with Theldun's healing, his eyes will be opened to his inner brokenness?
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