WIC helps people escape DV situations, and here's how.

Hello Again, Dear Readers

Thanks for dropping in.

Today I wanted to talk about WIC (Women, Infants, and Children), a program which helps get needed nutrition and medical referrals to low-income women and the children they care for.  In essence, it's an extension of the US food stamp system (called SNAP).

WIC is a program that falls under a lot of fire from Fiscal Conservatives, who see it as a handout and a defacto incentive for pregnancies that the woman can't take care of. While this may seem harsh, many of these conservatives want greater accountability for the father of the child, but there's no clear consensus on how to get that to happen.  That demand for accountability misses a key element in our modern world, which is that more and more women are entering the workforce and being the primary breadwinner, so greater male accountability doesn't necessarily mean greater earning potential.  AND... then there's the emotional component, what if the woman decided that particular person wasn't a good long-term partner?  Then we'd be forcing people into unhealthy relationships – and I don't think anyone would advocate for that.  

And that brings us to a hidden benefits of programs like WIC: these programs helps women with children to escape abusive relationships.  

That might sound like a far-fetched claim.  It certainly did to me at first, but after six months of working with the local SA/DV hotline and shelter in the Palouse (ATVP), I can tell you that it's the honest truth.  After an abuser has seduced/charmed their partner, the next job is to isolate that person.  Isolation has a lot of components, but one of the most effective ways to isolate a person is to limit their access to money.  Without money, one cannot access most transit (even most bus systems have a fare), one cannot get their own food, one cannot buy toothpaste, toilet paper, pay rent, etc.  Basically limiting money is the easiest way to completely lock a person down.

During any escape plan, there is a LOT of safety planning and forethought that goes into getting away.  The person needs to collect the documents for them and their children (IDs, birth certificates, Social Security Cards, etc.), plan on an opening where they know they'll have time to escape, determine how to keep themselves and their children safe after leaving (70% of DV homicides occur AFTER the abused partner has left), and figure out how they'll survive on their own (shelter, food, employment, etc.).

Which brings us to how WIC helps women and children to escape abusive partnerships: it's a lot easier to leave a batterer if you know that you won't starve to death.  Abuse is bad, but ultimately survival wins.  If a mother knows that she'll be able to feed her children, then she's much more likely to be able to escape a destructive relationship and go on to make a better life for herself and her children.

And that's yet another reason why programs like WIC are so important.

Thanks for reading.

What We the People talk about when we talk about Police Reform

Welcome back Dear Readers, and a happy [Solstice Holiday] to you all.  

In case you haven't read the op-ed "Blue Lives Matter" featured in the Atlantic yesterday.  Do yourself a favor and read it.  Ta-Nehisi Coates is a skilled wordsmith and handles the underlying issues that dog police reform and racial reconciliation with incredible compassion for the victims and for Police Officers.  In a time when people are shouting on both sides that such a view is impossible, Coates reveals why compassion for victims and police is inseparable.  

A lot of what Coates discusses reminded me of a conversation I had with my dad just a few weeks ago.  "My dad told me to be careful about making laws – any law.  Because as soon as you pass a law, you've told someone with a gun to go enforce that law.  If you're not comfortable with the real possibility that someone might be killed for that law, then maybe it's not such a good law."  

And that premise is what Coates calls out: police are in fact public servants.  They are bound to the will of the majority, and it is their burden to enforce all the laws that our representatives pass at the behest of their constituents (that's us).  Police brutality and other abuses of power happen as an outcropping of the beliefs that we as a majority have put into law.  I've known several officers – all good, honorable men and women – and there are laws that they are bound to enforce which they completely disagree with.  Police officers aren't free to enforce according to their consciences, but according to the conscience we created through legislation.  

So what we need to accept when we call for "Police Reform" what we're really calling for is a hard look in the mirror.  We need to change ourselves and our laws, and if we can do that, then the servants of that law will change.  If they don't, then we can say that the police need reform.

As always, thanks for reading.  

Jokes: Change the Conversation

Hello, Readers!

So, let's talk about "woman" jokes.  We've all heard them.  Some of us might have even told these jokes in our more naive/foolish years (I'm guilty of this).   (Side note: if you're still telling derogatory jokes, please stop).  And we probably have friends/acquaintances that still tell some of these jokes.  Here are some ways to shut these common jokes down and change the conversation.

The next time some person comes up and says, "Oh, I heard this great joke.  Okay, ready?  So what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?"
Interrupt before they can answer with this, "Hey, I have serious concerns that you might be in an abusive relationship, and here are some resources if you'd like help."  (Resources Here)

Insistent Person: "Fine, you don't like that one, how about this: why can't women drive?  Because there's no room for a highway between the kitchen and the bedroom!"
You: "Oh, I get it, this joke says that women only exist to create food and have penes stuck inside of them.  Is your masculinity really that fragile?"

Increasingly agitated person: "Hey now, we all know that  9 out of 10 participants enjoy gang rape."
You: "Multiple assailant rape happens every day, even here, even in this town, and for you to make light of the suffering of others is callous and disgusting."

Dear Readers, you are empowered, you are enlightened, you are activists.  When someone says something, speak up.  Turn that feeling of revulsion in the pit of your stomachs into an Act of Revolution.

It's time.