How I lost all my FB friends, installment the third

So, we're all still upset (and rightly so) about the heartbreaking events at Sandy Hook, and we're all still instant experts on gun violence statistics. Here's how to lose some friends today:
"How complicit are you in our current culture of violence?"
 Heck, it's a question I ought to post on my own statuses.

ADDENDUM: Whether you're pro-gun or anti-gun (not that those are the only choices on the spectrum), nobody likes that people got murdered, so please do keep that in mind if a conversation develops.

How I lost all my FB friends, episode dos.

The fun continues today! Here's some food for thought for your soon-to-be ex-FB friends. Aren't they lucky? Comment: "Please remember that even though you were in your pajamas when you posted, that the internet is, in fact, not as private as your bedroom." Do remember however, that this comment won't work on everyone! For some people, their bedroom and FB share the exact same level of privacy. (Glean from that what you will.)

Inappropriate Status Comments, or how I lost all my FB friends.

I'll be aiming to update this post daily through the end of January. If you want to know how to lose friends, or maybe you just want a place to vicariously post insensitive comments, leave one below! Comment #1: "You have two options: shut up or grow a pair" (For Ladies add "of brass ovaries" then you'll be ready to FB defend your reproductive rights)

Writers' Digest Conference Recap

This past weekend I went to the Writers’ Digest Conference in Manhattan. It’s kind of a whirlwind still, and I haven’t landed on the ground yet. Here’s a list of my impressions:

1) Driving/being driven around Manhattan is more terrifying than jumping out of an airplane (true story)
a. Reason 1: Lanes are merely suggestions
b. Reason 2: Stop lights are optional
c. Reason 3: A Pedestrian only has right of way if they’re big enough to dent the bumper.
2) Most pedestrians have some sort of death wish or absolute trust in drivers.
3) It’s difficult to find a meal for two for anything under $50.
4) Oban 14 is now my favorite Single Malt scotch.
5) Being around a ton of other writers is both humbling and inspiring.
6) I know a lot more about psycho-developmental and cognitive theories than I gave myself credit for (at least as it pertains to writing).
a. Corollary: I am bad at experimenting with what I know (e.g. incorporating Meyer-Briggs type in my characters’ dossiers).
7) Donald Maass – believe the hype about him.
8) Chris Baty is hilarious and really down to earth. He was very proud when I told him that NaNoWriMo basically pulled me out of the engineering field. (I wonder if he keeps a tally on his car like some sort of literary Red Baron?)
9) My novel is a LONG way from being ready, but I now have the tools to tune it up right.
10) Literary Fiction (particularly “Lit light”) is the genre that dominates the Bestseller lists for one to two years at a time. All else is mostly passing through.
11) Pitching to agents in terrifying.
a. Insight: Having a killer synopsis would have helped strengthen my pitch.
b. Insight 2, the Insightier: A strong premise for the novel at the outset would have kept my story better in check.
12) Manhattan definitely has its appeals. It’s refreshing to stand on a street corner and hear four languages – none of which is English.

Here’s what actually being at the conference felt like:
The Process:
Level up! You have one specialization point to spend.
English Major 5/Manager 1/Novelist(Prereqs. Not met!)

*Click* “Novelist”
Error: you have not unlocked this specialization path yet. Visit the Master to level up.

Journey: To Manhattan –
Trial: Get time off work (Success)
Trial: Overcome nerves about being in a BIG city. (Failure, but too late! Committed to course of action)
Trial: Get Manuscript ready to present to agents (Partial Success)
Trial: Get manuscript copied (Great success – only wasn’t needed).
Trial: Airplane Ride – Babies were involved. (Success! Baby slept the whole ride)
Arrival!
Trial: Find the bus that goes to the hotel. (Success! With help from a mystical helper)
Trial: Survive the ride without soiling shorts (Partial Success!)

Congratulations! You have found the Masters.
Next step: Level up and spend Specialization point
Net adjustments: Perceptions ++, Insight +, Confidence ------, Craft Tools +, Networking ++, Exhaustion --, Bank account ------------------------------------------------, Optimism +

You have achieved level one Novelist!

A little laugh

You all may have read about the Iranian plot to kill the Saudi Ambassador to the U.S. using a Mexican Drug Cartel assassin, who may or may not have been a CIA operative.

Here's how I imagine the information changed hands:

CIA Assassin: So an Iranian intelligence officer and an assassin walk into a Mexican bar looking to assassinate the Suadi Ambassador.
FBI Agent: What’s the punch line?
CIA Assassin: I’m the f***ing punchline!

The Prophecy

In Maelstrom a prophecy one hundred generations in the making binds a demon to Theldun, a wizard born in the sacred month of Galorn. Can he fulfill the prophecy before the world drowns in blood

Three times the Great Usurper Rise
Twice the false heir slain
Once the Son burnt
One side the world claim

As it was written so shall it be

Into the hands of government shall be given the Sword
forged in the blood of a hundred generations
Born on the last day of Galorn
The Sword will slay the Usurper
or serve him.

When the Line is broken,
The Great usurper shall wash the world in blood.

Combating Idiocy one post at a time

Now and again I come across an article that someone posts on the old Facebook. In the recent year or so, opinion articles bashing women have become increasingly common. There are many reasons for this, not the least of which is an impending election year, which for God alone knows what reason, brings out the unfortunately misguided opinions of some particularly vocal right-wingers. Another factor is the constant fear of change that is intrinsic in human nature. Jealousy could also be a factor, since women have fared better in this stormy economy than men. (Only 8.5% of women are unemployed as of June 2011 versus 9.5% of men, although the tables may be turning).

Whatever the reason, many of these articles have a handful of non-sourced statistics concerning women's voting habits/rearing goals/why they should be in the kitchen demmit et cetera, et cetera. The fact of the matter is that the working woman is here to stay, and if you can't handle it, then scoot over because she CAN do your job and given the opportunity she will. No amount of internet chatter to repeal the 19th amendment or bring us back to the morally "upright" 1950s will change the times.

As for the lament of the man-boys running around in society, maybe we should take a better look at how we're doing as father figures rather than blaming an "increasingly" socialist nation for coddling them.