23 August 2011

Unsaved Unwelcome, because JC was all about seclusion, am I right?


During an internet search today, I found a particularly enlightening website about the Christian faith. http://www.landoverbaptist.net

I'm all for churches having websites and an open place for honest discussion, but sites like this remind me of how Atheists and other religions look at us. We're a bunch of nuts. If the average "God-fearing American" found some of the statements on this website posted up on, oh say, an Islamic website, they'd be afraid of suicide bombers training at these churches.

It's not that the TRUE CHRISTIAN(TM) Church is inherently violent, but there are some things listed on the site that should at least encourage a pause.
- A Forum badge for "Punched the most Queers"
- "The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning ... flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers."
- Anyone who speaks against the commonly held opinions is banned and listed as "Enemy of God, Aeternal [sic] damnation assured"
- True Caucasian Christian award

Just for fun, let's look at Jesus's ministry, because hey! if he didn't have an effective ministry, then who does, amirite?

As for punching homosexuals, let's look at this as a question: Who did Jesus punch? Well, as far as we know, nobody. Although it is possible that he whipped some folks.
He didn't even dislike people different from his fly Jewish self (Yep, Jesus was a Jew, for those of you playing the home game. He probably had dark skin. He didn't speak English. Also, Jesus was homeless. Bam! Your mind, it is blown). He associated with all types: Samaritans (John 4), Tax Collectors(Luke 19), and a whole slew of other sinners. Punching people isn't really encouraged in Christ's doctrine - turning the other cheek is (Matt.5:39). Also, Paul (whose epistles are the go-to for sex-based discrimination on this site) doesn't ever miss his days of killing and imprisoning people that believed differently than he did.

Stoning and destroying without mercy? Didn't Jesus stop a stoning?

Christ wasn't really about judgement, as the go-to Gospel verses John 3:16-18 state:
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son."

So Christ's purpose was to love and save the world, not condemn it. Hmm, shouldn't we Christians make that our main goal, too?

22 August 2011

Caffeine and Paranoia

As fate would have it, one can actually be allergic to Caffeine. There are a lot of symptoms for Caffeine allergies, most of which closely resemble mental disorders (Schizophrenia, Paranoia and Manic-Depression taking the cake).

You might be thinking, "Well, that seems far-fetched." And you'd be right. It does seem far-fetched, but then again so do paradoxical reactions. Caffeine is by far the most available mass-market stimulant, and for most it is exceedingly effective, blocking your ATP receptors, thus not allowing you to realize that your body is drained (in essence giving you "energy"). For a few unlucky individuals, it makes them exhausted, and then there are those poor souls stuck with an allergy.

Imagine, if you will, your morning cup of coffee with a demon sitting in the cup, laying in wait down at the bottom of the delicious nectar of life. You look at your watch. Oh! You're going to be late! You down the last mouthful of coffee and swallow that demon right up. At work you are as productive as always (after checking farmville, of course). Something's different today, though. John, in the cubicle across from you, keeps giving you this look. Like he knows something you don't. You stare hard at him. John smiles and shrugs, before ducking back to his computer screen.
The boss walks by and talks to you about how valuable your work is to the company. You stare at him in wild-eyed terror, then you get back to work. In the reflection of your monitor, you see him talking to John. John laughs. They're plotting. Maybe the company is downsizing? That must be it. You're going to be fired; you're sure of it. No, that's crazy talk. You've been a loyal employee for several years now. Sure there was that rough bit, when you applied to see if you could get another job, but - wait. What if Boss found out? Well, he can't fire you for looking. Besides, the workplace morale went up, and you didn't even get another offer anyway.

You spend the rest of the day sipping coffee and working steadily on your TPS reports. John's glances become increasingly conspiratorial. Eventually, you just kick off work and go back home. Wife is home early. Maybe your boss called her? She looks concerned. You ignore her and eat some dinner quietly. If you're quiet enough maybe she'll slip and say why she's concerned.

While getting ready for bed, you catch your reflection looking at you funny. You duck beneath the counter and brush your teeth. But the mice might eat you if you stay too still. You do something like a crazed bottle dancer from Fiddler on the Roof, and you somehow manage not to choke to death on your toothbrush.

Now imagine that your day went like that EVERY TIME you drank coffee. Especially on days after a long night out.

Yep, Fate's a cruel harlot.