25 March 2011

Roleplaying Games IRL

Hello intrepid readers,
This will be my first post using the delayed publish feature. I thought about asking you all to tell me if it didn't post, but then I realized that was about as useful as asking those absent to raise their hands and be counted.

I've played Dungeons and Dragons for the majority of my life at this point, and I've come to realize how much more grounded in reality I am now than I used to be. Some people may wonder at this since I'm now trying to eke out a living as a writer, instead of pursuing mechanical engineering.
Allow me to explain, I used to want to live as a D&D Hero. You might be thinking, "Well, Thomas, doesn't everyone want to be a hero?" or "What's wrong with that?" For those of you with these thoughts consider this:

EVERY day of a Hero's life is enforced TORTURE.




(Notice dramatic spacing) That's right, folks! Every single day of an RPG Hero's life is another day in Hell. Get a limb hacked off? Cure Light Wounds and get back in there, champ!
Rotting while still alive? Cure Disease, then keep fighting!
Did you finally die and earn eternal rest? WRONG! Raise Dead will rip you from the embrace of your god and put you back on this world where monsters and evil outnumbers decent folks 400 to 1.
I mean, if you think about it, healers are like Afterlife-Nazis, "No eternal rest for you!"

All this is not to say that one shouldn't play Role Playing Games, because of course they are massively enjoyable, but one shouldn't want to live in one of these worlds. Unless, one is hugely masochistic, because with cure light wounds the pain can go on forever.
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