We all have friends that are Acolytes of a certain brand (often Google or Apple). To lose those friends, I recommend the following approach:
"I've been trapped in Bing for five days, and this Nigeri-Tron prince says he can get me out, but only if you mail me your (Android/iPhone) and $5000 to get the internets flowing the right way. Please help!"
Worst comes to worst, you keep the friend AND $5000. So really, it's a win-win (for you, not them). Aaaaand, you get to fabricate a story about being stuck in the Tronverse AND meeting a friendly prince. (Is that a win-win-win?... A win squared-win?...)